In the few books that I have read on Perimenopause it is described as a time of “Coming back to Self”. What this means is after years of looking after other people, eg, family, young children, husband etc, you come back to looking after yourself. At first it is not by choice & it did not resonate with me. My family was still young & I was not an empty nester. If I could I would still be in autopilot going on about my life but because of the big upheaval I experienced I had to make some changes. I did not agree with a lot of the books I read & now I am starting to see things a lot differently & really believe it is a Time of Wisdom!
It is a time of big emotional, spiritual & physical change. At first I really saw this whole experience as a negative because I had so many negative feelings & thoughts but now it has transformed into something positive & is driving me to become a better wife, mother, person & friend. It has blossomed into a re birth of myself & making me become fiercer & to not take anything for granted. It has changed my whole attitude to life!
Below is an short exert from “The Wisdom of Menopause” by Dr Christiane Northrup.
“During perimenopause, I lost patience. I could feel a fiery volcano within me ready to burst. Little did I know that these bursts of irritability were the faint knocks of Menopausal Wisdom. Research into physiological changes taking place in perimenopausal woman has revealed that in addition to the hormonal shift taking place in our bodies & our nervous system our brains are being rewired. Our thoughts are changing. Women are directing more of their energies towards the world outside of home & family. They are exploring, expressing creativity & tapping into their self esteem.”
I would never have imagined writing a blog as part of my process, but it has helped me & I am expressing my creativity which I have supressed for many years. I am naturally a creative person but fear has held me back for many years. I was afraid to express myself in many ways as I did not want to hurt anyone with my words, so I filtered myself for many years. I was also afraid to be creative because of “What if”!! Shock, Horror!! “What if I run out of ideas?” “What if I can create anymore?” What if no one likes my work?” Well I don’t care anymore. I am not going to live my life to make you happy & I don’t care if you read this or not. This is for me now. This is my time & if this resonates with just 1 person than my mission has been achieved. I feel the wisdom taking a hold.
So my parting message for you in this entry is don’t be afraid to try. Do something that makes you happy. Life is too short to be unhappy & not like what you do. Find a passion & do it. Believe in yourself. Don’t hold back. Even if it is doing a class once a week in something creative like drawing, painting or even dancing. Let the creativity within you flow. You will feel much happier & this is what it is all about.